


Three Times a Lady

by Maverick



Category: Oz - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-31
Updated: 2010-05-31
Packaged: 2017-10-09 20:04:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/91035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maverick/pseuds/Maverick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With apologies to Lionel Richie...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Times a Lady

Christ, some days I wish I was a dyke. Men are so fucking pathetic. Especially the dickheads around here. I'm horny and I'm stuck working the late shift in Em City, the golden jewel in the cesspool, which really ain't that much different from any other Unit in the fuckhole we call Oz. Quieter maybe, with the inmates locked up in their Plexiglas cages, but it's no shangri-la, no matter how hard Timmy McManus tried to make it one. Not that I'm complaining. There's something so damn satisfying about walking the beat in Timmy's former playground. It was sweet to be able to rub my new assignment in his sanctimonious face. The bastard actually thought he could lose his marbles that spectacularly and his job would still be waiting for him.

Of course, with the free ride he'd been given so far, it's no wonder he'd think that way. He wasn't a bad fuck though, not really. I'm a big enough woman to give him that. Especially not when compared to some of the other sperm donors around here. At least he could keep it up, unlike Lopresti, who didn't last long enough for me to even say premature ejaculation. Although, the deer-in-the-headlights look he got when I pulled out my strap-on was more than worth the bad lay. And if he had trouble sitting the next day, that wasn't really my fault. He should have learned to take it like a man.

The pickings around here are running pretty slim at the moment. Murphy won't give me the time of day, out of loyalty to Timmy. And Mineo probably couldn't find his dick with a map and a flashlight. I admit that I got a little wet when Hughes flashed us before getting himself canned. He might be a crazy bastard, but that boy's hung like a horse. The things I could do with a dick like that. I'd make a pass at Querns, but being that he's the spitting image of Lionel Richie, he reminds me too much of my mother's obsession with that lame-ass crooner. That would be a little too much like incest, I'm afraid. No, it looks like it's just going to be me and my electronic friend for a while.

Wait a minute. What do we have here? Ryan O'Reily, au natural. It seems that Irish eyes aren't the only things smiling. Maybe I've been thinking about this all wrong. I work in a place where I'm surrounded by men every single day. Men, who are deprived of women. It stands to reason that at least one of them has got to be a pretty good lay. And by the looks of O'Reily, that just might be a good place to start.

 

—FIN—


End file.
